jElly

All about the C word - Confidence.

2012-02-10T01:52:00.003+08:00

‎"The truth is, I have a bad habit of comparing myself to others. There's always someone with a better smile, nicer clothes, a skinner waist, brighter eyes, and amazing hair. I put myself down all the time. I can never be happy with the way I look at all. I'm self-conscious and that's probably the number one thing I want to change about me."

I'm reading CLEO right now and I really envy those ladies who managed to overcome their flaws and be so confident about how they look. Seriously, how did they do it? Even with those guidelines provided in the magazine, I doubt I can even overcome that barrier.

For me, I admit that almost every single day, I'm having negative thoughts about my body, looks or my dressing. Whenever I see my own reflection, my very first reaction will be "Eew. Why you so fat? Why you look older than you're supposed to be? Why can’t I look like that girl over there? So pretty only luh!" It's like... I totally can't accept my flaws and I’ll always compare myself to others. I'll never be able to strutt out of my house, feeling very confident. Yeah I know, this is really really bad. And this is probably the first thing that I want to change about myself. I need to have that little bit of self-confidence in myself.

But how to attain self-confidence? Can somebody please tell me what to do?

I doubt anyone here will be able to help me with this, since it's an issue with myself. The most important thing now here is actually self-love. I will have to start things off by loving myself first, love everything that was given to me - looks and personality. Everything happens for a reason. It doesn't matter how others look at me, as long as I'm contented with what I am doing.

So yes, a first resolution set for myself for the year of 2012 - "I WANT TO BE MORE CONFIDENT!". Hmmm. Is this counted as a resolution? Anyhow, I don't care! LOL.

An abrupt ending to this post! Byeeeee! :D

Goldkist Beach Resort!

2011-12-02T23:06:00.001+08:00

Okay, i'm back here again to blog! I'm just trying to get back the momentum of blogging frequently :) I hope that I'm not overdoing it though :)

So now I'm stuck in the chalet with my colleagues! Hahaha. How I wish I've got no work tomorrow! :( Have to travel back all the way to YCK to work for that four hours. So mood spoiler one leh. Sigh. I don't even know if I'm able to sleep in peace tonight! The bed is so dirty! Why didn't they provide us with bedsheets! :( Poor service leh. Boohoo :(

I'm kind of sleepy now actually. Hahaha. I'm going to be so cui over the next few days. I've a run on Sunday, and I'm going to have minimal sleep and worse still, so many BBQ food is going down my stomach tomorrow. Oh my gawd.

Heh! Back to reading my magazine! Jessica Liu so pretty only pleaseeeee!

Where is my bus?!

2011-12-02T07:10:00.001+08:00

I'm thankful that I've this blogger app to accompany me! Ohhh. Just when I'm about to blog, my bus arrived! Took like donkey years to arrive. Sigh.

Bus service in Singapore is getting less efficient nowadays. Oh wait. Our bus service got efficient before meh? Slow like a tortoise. Bus fare keep increasing, yet the number of buses still remain the same. So what if it's peak period? At times, I've to wait for half hour until the bus arrives. And I know of people who waited longer! And after waiting for damn long, 2 or 3 buses will all arrive at once. This is ridiculous. If it's wet weather, I'll still give in. But when the sun is so bright and sunny, when I really need the aircon? My transport money always let them eat away, I damn 不爽. Argh. I think lodge complaint to them also no use. If complaining works, we'll be able to see the difference already. Wait until now meh? Getting worse only.

Anyways, i'm reaching work soon! So shall see you around! :D

A brand new month! :)

2011-12-01T22:35:00.004+08:00

I'm so damn bored. My blog is like so dead. I doubt anyone drop by here anymore. Hahaha.

On a lighter note, it's a brand new month! Let's put our hands together and welcome December! :) Its going to be the happiest month ever in the entire 2011! :)

In exactly another nine more days, I'll be turning 21! Wo de tian ah. Time flies. Its like... Woah! I've lived for 21 years already leh! LOL. But oh wells... I'm not sure if growing another year older is a good or bad thing? Will I've better things coming my way? Haha. It's probably time for me to grow up a little. Cannot be so childish or naive or whatever anymore. Hahaha. (Pardon me. I don't really know what I'm blabbering about. Just don't care me lah okay.)

If I say that I'm not looking forward to receiving loads of presents this month, I'm obviously lying. I mean.. Who doesn't like to receive presents right? I love unwrapping presents, receiving surprises! :D Everybody loves that! Hahaha. What I'm actually looking forward to more is the meet ups for this month! XLB buffet with the girls, dinner with pancake bro, buffet town with family, birthday dinner with CKC, date with Gary Chin, Kbox with the bunch of crazy colleagues, out with Shi hua and the list goes on and on and on! I'm very long-winded I know! Hahaha. But cannot lah, I'm so damn exciteddddddd! Woohoo! I'm really smiling to myself while time this post! Crazy I know! :)

Okay, since I so long never blog already. I'll just write a longer post today lah okay. Wahaha.

Hmmm. What can I talk about? Suddenly mind blank, can't think of anything to say at all. :/

Erm. I bet many of you want to know more about me and my relationship issues. Since a few of you have been questioning me about it. To be frank, when it comes to such stuff, I'm not that open about it. I'm more of an introvert when it comes to such stuff? And I'm really bad at handling my emotions.

Okay. Let's get straight to the point then. Ever since my previous relationship that lasted for only three pathetic months, I totally lose my faith in guys. Seriously, what did I exactly see in him previously? I must be blind. He's so damn fat and ugly, and he's the worst guy ever. A bastard. Arghs. The thought of him disgusts me. No offence to any guy readers down here... But personally, my impression is that the majority of the guys out there are players. All they want to do is to try out different kinds of girls and then if the poor girl is not suitable, it'll then be strike off their list. To most of them, girls are an option, not a priority. Wells.. It's the nature of the guys I guess? But there are always exception... There might be girls who are like that too. And though its really rare, there will definitely be a Mr. Nice around :)

And guys are probably one of the reasons why girls would rather fall in love and be with girl. Cos girls do understand girls better. And I believe that most girls out there makes a better boyfriend than the guys around. Just a point of view ah :) sorry if I offended anyone here :) hmmm. I should probably stop here, otherwise I'll get criticised and some "nothing-better-to-do" bloghoppers would actually snapshot my post and post it up on stomp for their 50 dollars voucher or whatever they can win there. Zzz. Seriously damn bo liao.

Hahaha. So this post long enough anot? I'll probably get back to blogging again. I think? LOL. I every time say for fun only. The next time I will blog will probably be half a year later. Wells... No one reads it anyways! So why do I've to care. Heh! I will try my very best lah. Since its the school holidays! Hahaha. Bye bye! :)

2011-09-17T10:22:00.001+08:00

Awwww :( I don't want to get out of my bed and head to school. I feel like "The Lazy Song" today... So lazy, so lazy. But looking on the positive side, I'm finally having Hotpot Culture today! So looking forward to dinner time! :)

Alrights, I better start preparing already! Otherwise, I'll be running late again. Late queen :/ LOL. Byeeeee! :D

2011-09-02T22:52:00.006+08:00

"Cute is when your personality shines through your looks. Like, when you see someone's personality in the way they walk and you just feel like hugging them every time you see them."

- Natalie Portman

2011-09-01T17:00:00.003+08:00

"You will never, ever get out of a warm bed and go for a run on a cold morning and feel bad. Trust me. - NIKE"

So damn true. Claimed my off-in-lieu today. Dragged my lazy ass out of my bed and went for a 5KM run earlier. I'm satisfied, happy to see the figure on the weighing machine decreasing, and instead of feeling all tired out, I feek more energetic than ever now! :) Think I'll be able to focus better when it comes to my assignment later! :)

My body hasn't been doing well recently too. Increase in amount of gastric attacks, stomach giving me alot of problems and recently, I'm starting to have this constant dizziness. Doctor came to a conclusion - STRESS. I've to admit that I can't handle stress well and I've really lousy time management. Doctor mentioned that my body will feel better if I learn to handle stress better. Plus those irregular meals, downing of coffee recently, sleeping really late at night. And yeah, so I know I'm to be blame that my health turned out this way too. I should start learning to treat my body better.

Argh. Think I shall just end my post here! Weather is so freaking hot that I've to shower again! Ciaos~

2011-06-09T23:59:00.001+08:00

Plans for coming Friday and Saturday: Work, Run and Swim.
I just feel it's better to lose some weight before I head over to Genting. Don't want to feel demoralise when weighing myself after this short getaway :/

Seriously going to be damn broke this month. Why so many things going on this month? I still got to pay for my school fees. Plus Great Singapore Sale is here! The worst thing is that I can never stop online shopping. Maybe it's time that I restrict myself to only a few blogshops. Oh my tian. I don't even want to think about how big the size of the hole in my pocket is going to be. Boohoo :( Sometimes, I really wonder how some people can save up so much money. Hmmm... Can somebody give me some tips on how to do so please?

2011-06-01T21:21:00.002+08:00

It's the final decision. No turning back.
For those who didn't know, I was being offered a place by SIM - Facilites and Events Management. For the entire week, I've been struggling with my decision and have been asking different people for advice. Yes, I like both courses, but I couldn't possibly split myself up into two. Anyhow, I came to a final decision and chose SIM instead of SIT. After all, at least I still have got money rolling in when I'm studying part-time. Hopefully everything goes well! :)

2011-05-29T14:35:00.009+08:00

I want to go back to Dempsey Hill - Barracks @ House for their High tea buffet! Just thinking about the desserts, especially Strawberry Shortcake, makes me drool! :D

Been spending way too much recently, especially on food. The main issue is not about spending. Eating is a form of enjoyment, it's a bliss to get to savour all the nice food. But when you realised that the figure on your weighing machine is increasing, it'll remind you to stop for awhile.

Nothing better to do, so I've roughly came up with the list of foods that I had for the month of May:
Sakura's Buffet, The Soup Spoon , Nanxiang Steamed Bun Restaurant, Suki Sushi, Taste of Thailand, Barracks @ House, Ben and Jerry's, Hotpot Culture, Tampopo, Thai Express, Solo 20 pieces of Spicy McNuggets, Countless amount of KOI and Gong Cha, not forgetting Starbucks' Green Tea Latte, and many many more..

This is seriously damn scary. I didn't expect this much! This pretty much explain why the amount in my bank has been depleting damn quickly and I haven't been losing any weight this month. All the while, I thought it was the shopping part that made me broke. Now that I know, it's time to cut down. (I kind of think this post is quite contradicting. Apologies.)

2011-05-27T23:59:00.002+08:00

"It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend"

After the entire week of hell, weekends are finally here!! :D
Saturday morning and afternoon will be for swimming, packing room and hand-washing clothes. And then out for dinner/shopping with Ah Yang in the evening! Sundays are "Rot at home with dramas" days. Nowadays, I feel that sleeping is such a waste of time. Though it's unhealthy, I would rather look forward to having a fruitful weekend :D

2011-05-22T17:31:00.002+08:00

Aside from the holidays/outings, May has pretty much been a disaster. Especially when it comes to work. I can't wait for June to arrive!

I can't wait for my short getaway to Genting. I need a breather. As long as I'm out of Singapore, it's fine with me. What I'm really looking forward to is the Crystal Jade's XLB Buffet and going to Universal Studios with the girls! Haven't been to both before, so I'm damn excited! :)

The only thing that I'm quite sad about is that I'm not able to visit Taiwan during July with the girls due to work. Too bad for me. I'm stuck in a job where it is hard for me to apply for leave. Oh wells... I'll just have to tolerate for another 3 months and I won't have to work anymore! The reason? Cos I've been offered a place in SIT, UNLV - Bachelor of Science in Hotel Administration :) Frankly speaking, I didn't expect the offer cos I thought I pretty much screwed up my interview. But whatever it is, I'm finally getting the chance to study something that I've an interest in :) This time round, I'll work hard and not disappoint both my parents and myself. I'm thankful that I've got parents who are being so supportive of my decision to change my career/study path :)

Back to drinking my KOI's Hazelnut Milk Tea! ;)

2011-03-14T21:08:00.002+08:00

Please don't judge me. Especially when you're a total stranger to me. My family or my close friends doesn't even do that at all. Please at least show me the most basic respect if you want me to show you some. That's the reason why nobody likes you at all. You really deserve it.

2011-02-22T22:06:00.004+08:00

I'm sorry for always shouting at you over the smallest thing.
I'm sorry for having such a bad temper.
I'm sorry for not considering your feelings and just hurt you with my words.
I know you're feeling sad down inside, but why won't you just scold me for this so that I will feel less guilty?

I promise I'll changed this ridiculous and childish behavior of mine.
I'm seriously sorry.

2011-02-20T05:00:00.003+08:00

Time checked: 5:00AM

Yes, I'm still awake.
Just felt very energetic suddenly.

If only my everyday life was just like yesterday...(Excluding work)
Work in the morning; Nap in the afternoon and only woke up at around 8 plus;
And then swimming with Ah yang, followed by dinner over at her place :)

Got the urge to drown myself with dramas and movies recently.
Just completed Korean Drama - "Playful Kiss" not long ago. Kim Hyun Joong! ♥♥♥
Currently watching "Secret Garden" and it's really awesome! I think the storyline is good :)

Maybe I should try appreciating English TV Series. After watching two episodes of "90210" at Ah yang's house earlier, I think it's really not too bad after all! At least when I'm stuck at home, I've got something to do! Still got what nice English TV Series? Any kind souls willing to introduce me some?

Getting kind of tired now. Time to get to sleep.
Goodnight!

2011-02-13T00:20:00.007+08:00

I'm back to blogging again!
Mainly because of the amount of stress I faced at work, I just need a place where I can rant, as a form of stress relief.

The only two words that appear when I wake up and before I sleep -
"LIFE SUCKS!".
I hate queuecalls.
I hate those irritating and troublesome users.
I hate having to escalate so many cases.
I hate not being able to get my cases resolved and closed.
I hate spending extra time at work.

After six months here, I'm really not sure if I did learn or achieve anything at all. I just felt that most of the stuff here are redundant. All I know is that I'm going through a daily routine here and if I were to take up a part-time degree in the future, helpdesk will be a good job for me to stay in.

Oh wells... Enough about work.
Time to shift my focus onto choosing the right degree. I don't want to get into the wrong path anymore. After much consideration, I decided to apply for:
SIT - Bachelor of Science in Hotel Administration
UniSIM - BSc Facilities and Events Management

I know that I will be much happier studying something that I'm interested in rather than getting stuck in that IT path which I don't see myself getting anywhere in the future. Hopefully I made the right choice this time round! :)

2011-01-23T15:55:00.004+08:00

Maybe it's time to revive this blog of mine :)

2010-07-26T01:33:00.028+08:00

Jay Chou - The Era 2010 World Tour
(Before concert)

Will upload the rest of the photos on the next post!
I'm having a hard time choosing between each photos to upload, because I like most of them but I can't possibly upload all of them!

Thanks to Ah yang for her effort, I managed to have all this nice photos and videos! =)

2010-07-24T01:02:00.008+08:00

In a few hours time, it will be this boy concert!

Waiting for Ah Yang to return from her paintball before we head for Indoor Stadium!

Saw the reviews of yesterday's concert and everything was so far so good. Damn excited! Hopefully we're able to come back with nice pictures!

Jobless!

2010-06-29T16:47:00.009+08:00

I'm so not used to staying at home on weekdays.. Always have to think of something to do and occupy myself. I would rather continue to work for that six days. The amount in my bank will deplete in no time lor! Urgently need to find a new job!

Received calls from a few companies just now and I told them that I could only commit a maximum of one year cos I wanted to further my studies next year. But they say that I must be able to commit long-term. What exactly is long-term to them? Two to three years, or ten years? Gosh. Finding a new job is really hard..

So sickening! I'm going to start spamming resumes again!

2010-06-13T19:01:00.004+08:00

For these two days, I've been sleeping only at 4.30am and after three hours, I've to force myself to get up for work. I've got to set seven alarms just for work!

Some of you might be thinking, "Why this girl crazy one? Every time use computer till don't want sleep. Got work the next day, still sleep so late!" No lorrrr. I'm not addicted to my computer. I'm watching World Cup, just like what everyone else is doing now! =)

Yesterday was England vs USA. I was so excited/nervous over the match, or rather for England, that there were so many heart-stopping moments! I thought I was about to die from a heart attack.

Anyways, there will be another match later an hour! Germany vs Australia. Hopefully it will be as interesting/exciting as yesterday's one!

Join in the World Cup Fever people! =)

Adidas Sundown 2010

2010-06-08T02:00:00.007+08:00

I love this photo cos I think we look very fair here!! =)

Coincidentally saw Nathan there as well!

For the entire run, I've only got one pathetic shot after the finishing line.

Finally there are pictures in my post!

I'm glad that I managed to finished the run! And the massage after the run was damn shiok!

But I will never join Adidas Sundown again. The whole system is really screwed up. The event was held at such an "ulu" place, boring routes, not so attractive goodie bag, waited for the shuttle bus for an hour plus, then I've to wait for the taxi for another hour plus. Wasted so much money and time just for one run.

No more Adidas Sundown, but maybe I will join the Nike human race this year? If i join this coming run, I really must train. I don't want to die during the run!

Shall see how it goes! :)

2010-06-03T17:28:00.003+08:00

Sakae Sushi with my dearest sister, then meeting mommy for dinner later!

Mommy has been complaining that her arm is in pain, probably caused by her work. Somehow, I wished that she will be able to stop working, and stay at home to rest instead. I know it's boring to stay at home, but I don't want her to end up with all those "occupational disease" from work. I really miss her cooking very very much. So long that I can't remember when was the last time I ate her cooking. Due to her work, she wasn't able to cook as often as last time and even if she does cook, I'm stuck at work till late and I wouldn't be able to make it home for dinner. Even it's a simple meal like porridge and a few dishes, I'll be more than happy.

Wells, I'm just awaiting the day where I'm able to eat her good food again!

2010-06-03T01:09:00.006+08:00

Really irritated by the sight of my room. Messy till an extent where I can't stand it anymore. Gosh. Even my brother's room is so much more cleaner than mine. One is like heaven, then another like hell. My room is not any different from a rubbish dump. No idea why I can stay in this kind of place also.

Shall start spring cleaning tomorrow! In case anyone pops by anytime! :)

2010-05-28T23:59:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow will be..

Work in the morning,

then Adidas Sundown 10KM at night.

I'm going to be so deadddd.

2010-05-28T16:07:00.003+08:00

Such a nice rainy afternoon, minus the lightnings and thunderstorms. :)

Since it's a public holiday today, it's a day off from work!

In such weather conditions, the best is to get myself trapped at home.

Waking up only late in the afternoon, eating takeaways, seated comfortably on my chair, playing around with xiaojieli, rolling around my bed, spending my day with my family, etc. It is going to be another simple (or maybe a boring) day, but at least I got a day off from work. That's enough to make me happy. :)

Met up with Aisyah yesterday's afternoon for a simple lunch and catching up session. It was really nice meeting up and talking with her, filling her with the latest happenings. Girl, Thanks for the gift and I'm looking forward to meeting you again! :)

Talking about yesterday's night, I'm damn sad that I've to go to work. I missed out so many good stuff ): Now I don't want money already. By hook or by crook, I'm going to make it for the next session!

Jay's 10th album

2010-05-25T03:10:00.003+08:00

For those who are looking around for new chinese songs to listen, I think you should try Jay's 10th album that was released a week ago. It's highly recommended! Not only from me, but most of my friends had also given positive feedback for this new album! :)

Personally, I felt that Jay has made improvements. His style for this album is different from before and his pronunciation is so much better! I believe people who are constantly listening to his music will be able to feel it. Instead on just focusing on those rumors/gossips that reporters come up with, I think people should start to try listening to his songs, appreciate it and see the amount of efforts that he has put in for each and every album.

From the day I collected his new album, it's so addictive that I keep replaying his songs from the over and over again but I don't even get sick of it. I bet the same goes for Ah Yang who randomly messaged me and told me that his songs is damn addictive!

Personal favourites from this album are 說了再見, 好久不見, 雨下一整晚, 我落淚．情緒零碎 and 自導自演. :) And from the song 超人不會飛, it actually reflected his inner feelings and from the chorus, I can really feel that he has been tired. As a fan, I felt really sad for him, as he is the type that choose to keep his problems to himself.

Really looking forward to his concert in the coming July! At the start, I regretted booking the $200 category cos I felt damn sad when I've to part with my money. But upon hearing that many people were unable to get the tickets cos it was sold out really quickly, I felt damn lucky that I'm able to get my tickets! Together with Ah yang, we're going to get high and shout till we lose our voices when the concert comes to an end. I'm sure that it will be another unforgettable moment at the Singapore Indoor Stadium!

So people, start listening to his new album now! You'll definitely love it! :)

2010-05-25T02:57:00.003+08:00

Irritated. Don't know what is wrong with my computer, I can't upload my graduation photos here, not even on Facebook!

Arghs. Forget it.

Graduation 2010

2010-05-22T11:23:00.007+08:00

Glad to announce that I've officially graduated from NYP! =)

Thursday's graduation ceremony marks the end of our three years in NYP.

During the whole of three years, I really met alot of nice people, especially Chin whom I shared all my joy and unhappiness with. Enjoyed the times that I get to spend with my classmates. I'll never forget the times where we chionged our projects together, especially on the very last semester where all of us faced countless amount of sleepless nights. And also not forgetting the times where we'll joke around with our favourite teachers, making fun of them. There are many things that I'm really thankful for but if I continue, the post will just go on forever. To summarise everything up, I bet I'm going to miss studying in NYP.

Next up, a few of them will be entering university in the coming August and I believe that the rest are trying their best to find a suitable job for themselves. I don't know what will my future be like but I'm going to apply for university next year and hopefully I'll able to get in. For the time being, I shall get stuck to this job for another month or so, before I start finding another new job to gain new experiences. Like my daddy said, just treat this year as earning my own expenses first, before I get into university.

Why the way I'm writing feels like a goodbye post? Like damn sad like that.

Whatever it may be, to my just-graduated friends, Congratulations on your graduation and I wish you the very best for your future! =)

**Will post up the graduation photos in the next post! =)

2010-05-11T19:23:00.008+08:00

I'm stuck with the same old routine everyday.

Working seven days a week, 8 hours per day, a little longer on weekend. Tuition centre is closed on Thursdays, so I'm a little free-er. But, I still have to head over to the RC on Thursdays' night to work for 3 hours. Oh wells... I can't possibly be so selfish by letting my cousin work for the entire week. Just for the sake of having more to spend, I shall endure. :)

And, I'm really glad that Ah yang is finally back from Hong Kong yesterday! I'm not trying to say it's boring talking to other friends, but I'm so used to talking to her online everyday that my msn feels damn quiet without her around. I really like the stuff that she brought back for me, especially Domokun and the cap! Definitely not missing out my strawberry yogurt masque! Tell me where to find such a good friend huh? Thank you Ah Yang! :) (Aiya, and since you got the lobster already, can you give me that porcupine pleaseeeee? ;p )

2010-05-09T01:25:00.017+08:00

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy 74th Birthday Grandma!

Dearest Mommy,

I would like you to know that I really appreciate everything that you've done for me.
Thanks for being such a good mommy, putting so much effort in giving us the best and always tolerating our unstoppable nonsense. We love you mommy :)

With Love,
Evangeline

2010-04-01T01:43:00.006+08:00

All rights. Since I haven't blog for a long time, I shall just write down what has been going on for the whole of March.

●4th to 7th: Worked at the Career Exhibition for four days, slacking and yet getting a good pay.

●8th: Ah Yang's Birthday! Ben got her a cake and we "ding dong" her before it hits 9th March. I still feel damn guilty over the late birthday present though, and felt that it wasn't even a proper one.

●10th: Cable-Ski for the first time with Ah Yang and Ben, which was a great experience though it was tiring! That was also the first time I had my Mcdonald's Hot and Spicy Shaker fries! :)

●13th: Went to watch the Singapore Entertainment Awards at The Float@Marina Bay with Shi Hua. I'm thankful for her asking me along cos I get to see many Idols and definitely not missing out the Korean Boyband, SHINee! :)

●15th: Finally saw Ah Bee for once in a very long time!

●16th: Meet up with Hikari and Gary Chin for Sakae Sushi and since we got no other places to go, we ended in Hikari's house watching drama.

●17th to 20th: Genting with my family. Go there Eat, Play, Sleep and Grow Fat!

●23rd: Results are out! I'm happy to announced that I've successfully completed my three-year course of study and my results weren't that bad after all! :)

●26th: Day out with Ah Yang to hunt around for her slip-ons. Ate at Makansutra for the very first time and ended the day with Andersen's ice cream! :)

●29th: Went for a job interview at my dad's working place. Everything was supposed to be all right, but oh wells.. Due to specific reasons, I can't get the job.

●Completed Autumn's Concerto, You're Beautiful and a Japanese Drama. Repeatedly watching "We Got Married" over and over again. And all caused me to flood my entire room with my tears. Found another korean guy from You're beautiful- Jang Geuk Suk, to go crazy over!

● Ended the month with a freaking scary nightmare. Every single time I've dreams/nightmares, it's always about killing/torturing. I swear yesterday was the worst I ever had cos even bloody scenes started appeared. I still remember the very last scene of the nightmare. Cos it's related to my close ones, I can't even stop thinking about it. Oh my.. The thought of it sends shivers down my spine.

Now that March is over, I've to find things to do in April.

●Looking forward to staying over at Ah Yang's place!

●Having more meetups/outings.

●Hopefully, I will be able to find a suitable job for myself. Whatever hardships I've to suffer, I'm more than willing to work as long there is money coming in.

●BBQ!!

I supposed that's all for now!

Meeting up with Gary and Hikari later!
Got to go! Otherwise I will oversleep and be late again!

Bye! :)

2010-03-15T05:40:00.005+08:00

Time checked: 5:40AM

and yes, I'm still wide awake!

Got chased by Ah Yang to start watching Autumn's Concerto which I've said I wanted to start watching donkey years ago. Now I can see the reason why there are so many people out there saying that this drama is damn nice. Started off with the first episode and I think it's damn power to the max. It's super addictive! ;) Chiong three episodes in one go and I feel like moving on to the fourth but it's twenty minutes to 6AM. My mother will nag and nag at me if she realised that I'm still chionging drama at this hour.

No choice but to continue watching later ):

Nights!

Confusion.

2010-03-09T15:20:00.008+08:00

It's not like every single time, I know what to do.
I want to have that few hours of free time, also cannot.

Whenever something cropped up, I must be the one to clear up the mess.

Then in the end, if I'm unable to do so, everything becomes my fault.

Instead of being the root of the problem, why can't i be the victim for once?
Why am i always being sandwiched in the middle?

You always made me look stupid.

I'm contented even if you let me off for the few hours.

Now, I want to hibernate in my room and stay in here forever.

2010-03-08T00:37:00.007+08:00

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY JOCELYN YANG!! :)
Enjoy this special day of yours and receive lots of presents!

:) :) :)

2010-03-05T23:17:00.002+08:00

March is going to be a bad month for me.
It already is bad and it's going to get even worser.

I can't wait for April to come.

2010-02-21T01:50:00.000+08:00

Wah lao. Just as my pimples were about to go away, I've an outbreak again ): Hopes for a non-pimpled face are out of my reach now. Oh my... Now, I feel like going for a facial to clear everything away. Besides these pimples, my face is getting puffier recently. Now my face looks like a balloon ): And my eyes feels like there is lemon juice being squeezed on it. It's aching and I can barely open my eyes, especially when I turn on the lights.

What's up with all these nonsense lah!
Maybe the main reason was because I was youtubing all the way till 5am plus for the past few nights.

Now I'm so sadddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd ):

Now, it's 1.53am.
I'll try to sleep as early as 2.30 today.

2010-02-16T23:41:00.005+08:00

I always hear fireworks from my room, but when I popped my head out of the window to take a look, I don't see any at all. Only managed to see the fireworks from Malaysia on certain occasions.

Been spending most of my time youtube-ing recently, till I every time sleep very late, and wake up damn late. I can get stuck at my chair of hours watching all these videos.
I'm still very into Korean songs/groups/blah blah blah. Since there are many videos that I've already watched for countless times, decided to re-watch the Korean variety show - We Got Married, for the second time. Of course, to watch it again, there must be some guy that I'm attracted to inside. Kim Hyun Joong!!♥ ♥ (Set the picture of him as my msn's display picture, xiaojieli's wallpaper and handphone's wallpaper) In other words, he is Ji Hoo from Boys Over Flowers, the one with the orange-brown hair and a very good facial complexion☺

Other than this, decided to watch Autumn's Concerto and Jay's Pandamen soon☺

2010-02-14T00:06:00.007+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year! :)
(I forgot it's Valentine's till Ah yang reminded me.

So people, Happy Valentine's Day too!:))

I believe most of us are looking forward to the Ang Baos and New Year Goodies! I can already see the dollar signs written on everyone's faces!!

Now, it's 12:06AM and I haven't finish packing my room which I promised my mommy don't know how many donkey years ago. Before I sleep, I must make sure it's all neat and tidy! You think I'll put in so much effort. It's only on the outlook only. In fact, I don't really care about tidy or so whatever. I just dump everything into my drawers and cupboards, and it's done! Hahaha!

Yesterday's reunion caused me to gain 1.5 kg! ):
Eat till my stomach want to explode. My weakness is not being able to run away from food! Nevermind. Wait till after new year then i lose weight again!

Wells, got to go! Have to complete my mission of making my room look neat, or else mommy will start nagging again. I don't want the naggings to spoil my first day of new year!

Happy receiving Ang Paos! Bye bye! :)

2010-02-11T15:55:00.004+08:00

As expected, MAD paper was a total killer. It was totally anyhow do, anyhow fill in the blanks kind of paper. The moment we flipped open the paper, we feel like leaving the lecture hall already.

Though MAD paper was like shit, I'm still damn happy to the max la!

Starting from tomorrow, there will be no more exams, no more tests, no more projects, no more reports, NO MORE SCHOOL! HURRAY! Super shiok ah! :)

Now I try to spoil my mood by thinking about "After poly what should I do?" again. It's normal to be worried isn't it? At the moment, there are many question marks in my mind. After today, what am i suppose to do? Find a job? Or apply for a place in university? (Definitely not NTU or NUS because my GPA is insufficient) I don't even want to think about all these stuff, but I've got no choice because it concerns my future. I'm so messed up that I don't know how to continue with this post. Maybe after CNY I will discuss with daddy about it. For the time being, I should just enjoy :)

Anyways, I bought myself another top and a new pair of sandals today! And I still feel like buying more stuff. Suddenly, I feel like what Ah yang said was true. That I'm like having mid-life crisis! HAHA. Any kind souls want to donate some money for me to fix that big hole in my bank account?

2010-02-10T13:14:00.008+08:00

**Sorry, I don't know why the words look so big in this post.

Counting down:

Two more days to FREEDOM :)

To friends who are having their common tests paper later, All The Best! :)

I'm having cheapo siew mais and har kows now for brunch. Cheapo but still taste as good because I'm really very very hungry :)

Four more days before the arrival of CNY. Looking forward to the Ang Baos, New Year Goodies and Reunion Dinners! :) I don't feel like gambling this year cos i want to save the money up for my Post-CNY-Shopping. And ya, the main reason is because I know I'll definitely lose. Sorry, I very the "Kiam Siap" one. Every cent also very important to me.

Meeting Ah yang over in town three hours later to do some last minute CNY shopping! Before that, I must get back to my MAD lecture notes!

Bye!

2010-02-03T19:51:00.002+08:00

After an entire week of rushing projects, I'm finally back at work.
This sucks because it's wednesday and my ears will start to suffer. Wednesdays here means that all those aunties will gather together and come for their karaoke session. They noisy nevermind. The main thing is that their singing sucks, but they still think they sing very nice. Ya, and most of the time, it'll be HOKKIEN songs. If my tolerating skills good, still okay. But I can't stand such stuff. Seriously, really cannot make it (x100000000000000).

JED common test is over. I felt that it killed me because I only started studying only yesterday. If I had started earlier, I would have done even better. Oh wells. All I need is a pass for this paper. I'll be more than happy.

2010-02-02T23:46:00.004+08:00

I've never felt so poor for the past nineteen years.

So poor that I've to forgo paying/buying the top that I had already ordered.

The moment I look at my available balance, I want to bang the wall already. I didn't knew I've spend so much over the past two months.

It's time for me to get a piggy bank and start saving up already!

Quality time.

2010-01-31T22:44:00.004+08:00

The above photo was taken around two years back, on 29 February 2009.

I had to use this photo because I forgot to take pictures when i met up with her yesterday. It was just a short and simple catching up session for us, with lunch at Ajisen and tea break at Starbucks. Updated each other on many many things since we haven't seen each other for quite some time. Of course, bitching is something that we can never leave out :)

Finally, something that I was looking forward to - dinner as a family :)

Due to the amount of work I have on hand, I didn't get to spend much time with my family lately and I felt rather guilty about it because during this period of time, my home has turned into a hotel for me. I spend more time outside than at home. Even if I'm at home, I just shut myself from the outside world and get stuck in my room rushing projects.

It's another week before things will get better.

Endure jelly.

Life's hectic.

2010-01-29T16:46:00.006+08:00

I'm worn out from everything. With all the projects and stuff. Amount of sleep is minimal every single day. Pimples are all popping out, panda eyes are forming. The last semester of my very last year is really a killer. I swear that I've never been this tired because of school work before.

Finally went for a run just now, but I feel like shit now. Because there's work in an hour plus time, and I feel so sleeping. Adding on, it's raining now and I find it so troublesome to travel to work. I want to stay at home and cuddle up in my comfy bed :)

(Yay! I've got no work today because my cousin is taking over for me. Thank you ah!:) )

It's week 15 already. Next week will be the final torture before I sort of get back my freedom.

Saturday and Sunday are "Chiong projects day". I die die also must start to revise for JED common test, do my ICTPM report and Web 2.0 project later.

Week 16

Tuesday - Web 2.0 and Open Source project submissions

Wednesday- ICTPM open book test, MAD project submission, JED common test

Thursday - OSWSD quiz, ICTPM report submission, DAM practical test

Friday - 3 Hours of boring CS lesson

Week 17 (No idea whether there are still ongoing lessons)

Friday - MAD Common Test and I'm free! :)

2010-01-26T22:42:00.003+08:00

One project down.

Three more projects, one report and another presentation to go.

Skipped lessons today and got stuck in the library doing projects instead.

Left school at around seven-thirty and had dinner with Gary at Ang Mo Kio.

Today I very sad because:

I missed my six pm korean show and it's the last episode ):

Super Junior was over in Genting recently and didn't come to Singapore): Blame it on Singapore's small market.

For now, it's time for OSWSD and I've to settle my presentation slides for coming Thursday. Life seriously sucks like hell.

2010-01-25T10:13:00.002+08:00

To be frank, at certain point of time, I really envy those people who have others to do their projects for them, especially when my projects are screwing me upside down. Like that, they can enjoy as much as they want when people like me are still slaving their way off.

But if were given a chance to choose, I would rather do it myself and enjoy that sense of satisfaction all by myself when I complete my projects. If it's your own project, just do it yourself. Don't get some people to do it for you, and then claim it as your work. No matter how hard that project is going to be, as long as you put in your one hundred and one percent into it, I believe that teacher will be able to notice it. Even if teacher don't notice it at all, at least you've that answer in your heart. Don't even know how to do or start? Just ask around for friends' help. Friends don't know? Ask for teachers' help. I believe that they will be more than willing to help you. After all, I'm talking about the sense of responsibility here. You don't even do your own work, how do you step into the working society in the future, which is in a few weeks/months time? No matter how much advice people give, it's still your own road for you to choose. Does it all make sense? Try to think about it.

For my readers' information, I'm not shooting at anyone here. It's just a thought I've in my mind while I'm doing my projects, so decided to blog it down.

2010-01-24T12:56:00.003+08:00

mylaptopissolaglikeshit.

Planned to have an hour of nap and wake up at four am to continue with my projects, but it failed because I lost to the Z-monsters. Set so many alarms with it's volume set to it's maximum, requested for messages to be sent, but I can't even hear a single one of it. When i woke up, I like one kanchiong spider, immediately switch on my laptop and continue with my work. I don't even dare to step out of my room to go eat my brunch. Now I feel like some "zai nu"/geek.

Boohoo.

Back to projects )))))):

Java Enterprise Development

2010-01-23T21:43:00.004+08:00

Screw JED. It's totally killing us all. To be handed in on coming Monday but it's not even half done. I'm going to cry soon. The amount of codings can make me go super duper crazy. It takes don't know how long to do one part and for a person like me, I think will take even longer. omg lah. Just see me die this coming monday. It's going to be another sleepless night already.

2010-01-23T11:26:00.006+08:00

If it's the first time, I can choose to forgive and forget.

Second time, I'll still choose to forgive and forget.

By as time goes by, the amount is already accumulating and it's until a point where I can't take it anymore, like a rubber being stretch to it's maximum. Three years... Three years is enough. For now, I'll still regard you as my friend, but I'll definitely not forgive or forget what you've done to me. People learn how to stop and every individual has it's own limits, but I don't see yours at all. You can go on forever and forever like nobody's business. Don't you give a damn about how i feel? If you were in my shoes, i bet you'll feel the same way too. Whatever it is, i can't wait for this stage of my life to be over, so that I won't be able to see you as much anymore.

2010-01-22T14:34:00.002+08:00

Now, I know I'm worth nothing in their eyes.

2010-01-20T19:33:00.004+08:00

Just want to share a simple quote I received in my email today :)

"Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within.
It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us
which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and
do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves."

-- Helen Keller

Jelly's going crazy soon!

2010-01-19T19:53:00.004+08:00

Currently at work now.
Intended to do my projects here, but in the end wasn't able to because there is some MP's visit today, which means i must be on high alert :/ Super sian. I think I'm going to gulp down alot of caffiene throughout the night and get part of the project completed. I don't want to die next week. Hopefully, some miracles will happen and my programs will work smoothly. Ya, part of my wishful thinking only because I can already forsee myself seeing countless amount of errors and spend more time debugging the errors instead of sleeping, eating, etc. Okay, I ought to be happy because I guess I'll get to lose off some of those fat fat during this period of time :)

First lesson is at eight tomorrow and I'm sure going to reach there early. Oh ya, did I mentioned that I received a warning letter on Saturday, saying that i missed five lectures? It's totally ridiculous can! I only remembered myself not going for two and as for the rest, he asked us to sign our attendance if we didn't tap our card. In the end, I didn't knew what he do and this warning letter came to me. What's worse is that I'm not the only one, most of my friends received it too! Like that what's the use of signing the attendance list? One of my friends went to clarify, and he said that this is a system error and there's nothing we can do about it, and all we can do is to go there earlier next time. WHERE GOT LIKE THAT ONE?! It's obviously an excuse can. Whatever is it, we're going on strike tomorrow! This is shit mann.

Projects Overloaded!

2010-01-18T14:03:00.008+08:00

Because i've got too much projects to clear up, I decided to skip the three hours of JED and now i'm stuck at AMK hub's Ministry of Food all alone enjoying a cup of green tea, while i'm doing my projects. Don't you think i'm very hardworking? I think i am leh. Haha!

After which, I'll meet Gary and Hikari for our movie session. Like finally can! We discussed it like three weeks back, yet we took so long and dragged it till today to meet up for just one movie session because we're all super duper busy people!

Heard about some things, and I don't know what's up with some people. They are super duper hardcore and hardworking, but when it comes to certain stuff, they are really really brainless. I'm not trying to be bad, but it's all true. What for bother someone who is already busy? Though they want it badly, there are still so many other ways to solve this problem! I don't know what's wrong with their mind. Especially when they are the BEST students on earth.

And to add on, the moment i reached class today's morning, people must come ask me about projects already. Whether i know how to do anot, whether i complete already anot, and blah blah blah. It's damn irritating you know. When you're still damn sleepy and still in the "Power Off" mode, you like to be bombarded with questions about projects meh? For me, I really hate it alot (especially when the person's tone/voice is really naggy). If you were in my shoes, i bet you confirm feel the same way as me also.

Enough of nonsense, and I shall go back to projects.
See you people! :)

Singapore Canoe Marathon 2010

2010-01-17T22:20:00.006+08:00

Time really flies. It has been near one and half year of partnership and today marks the first and the last marathon with Rainie Teh Li Jun. Thanks partner, for being so willing to paddle with me for this marathon even though when i only came for that few trainings and thank you for making my last race such a good and satisfying one :)

From the start till now, we've gone through so many ups and downs, the happy times and the bad times. So many bad races that we've faced, but still ended up being good partners. It was you who plays a important role by helping me bring up my confidence and aggressiveness on a K2 and I must really thank you for that. Also, until now, I didn't knew how i managed to follow that really crazy stroke rate of yours.

As usual, so many things that i want to say but i'm rushing my projects, so i've got no time. In short, I'm really thankful for having you as my partner all these while. you were the best partner that i can even ask for :)

2010-01-13T12:41:00.002+08:00

i'm sorry that i've to rant the same kind of stuff over and over again.

frankly speaking, i already think it's a total waste of my time to come to school already because all the labs/tutorials are almosts done and for now, it's like the projects period. now, i'm in lab and teacher wants us to do our project here. somehow it's good because my teacher will be there to assist us but for no reasons, i can't start doing my project during lessons and i'll end up msn-ng and facebook-ing. if i knew that this was going to happen, i would have just stayed at home and continue sleeping till noon, then wake up to face those projects. i come to school, i always sleep only. so in conclusion, i'm definitely not coming for classes next wednesday unless i really need help.

2010-01-08T20:36:00.003+08:00

i can be very noisy during classes, but i die die also cannot do presentation! since forever, i've this stupid presentation phobia stuck onto me and i can't seem to get over it. whenever i got so many eyes staring at me, i'll start to get all nervous and DIE LAH, i'm going to screw it up again. this is total shit. @#$%&%$#^&!!!

now i more pek chek because fishville is hanging on me! i can't clean my tank, feed or sell my fish. and later, i'll see so many dead fishes on my computer screen again. arghs.

okay, now i shall put everything aside and thank that guy from acer. when i went to collect xiaojieli today, i thought the uncle there gave me the wrong laptop because the cover was damn clean, without any scratches and my stickers were gone! the whole thing looks damn new. i can't even find the LCD crack. so the uncle helped me to double check and he said that the guy who served me had helped me fix the LCD crack and replace my whole cover free of charge! i was damn surprised. i couldn't bear to fix it when i went there the previous time because that cost me like hundred over dollars?! now xiaojieli is back in one piece, i'm very very happy and i'm really thankful to that guy! :)

2010-01-05T14:22:00.004+08:00

pardon me for my late late post people :)
have been too lazy or busy to blog ever since i came back from my holiday trip, adding on the fact that school has already reopen. boohoo.

2010 is here!! (yeah i know, damn late)
same old resolutions and with a few new ones. it doesn't feels like a new year to me though. perhaps it's because i'm still stuck with my projects and stuff. it made everything feels the same.
still, i hope the rest of my year will still be a pleasant one. The amount of nonsense that i had faced in 2009 is more that enough. don't want to elaborate anymore.

china trip during last december wasn't that bad.
food were pretty much the same for the eight whole days. everyday was like mixed vegetable rice. it was edible, except that some dishes were very salty or oily. thank god i brought my own tibits and cup noodles there. the worst was vomiting and losing my apppetite for the last three days. i still remember the day i vomited was terrible. the moment i reached the hotel room, i just landed on the bed. whatever i do, i felt that i was lifeless. i didn't even have the strength to squeeze out my facial cream. and minus eleven degrees was really crazy! no matter how many layers of clothes i wear, i'm still freezing like hell! and i didn't expect that i've to climb up 2.5km of stairs and come down again. people pay to go holiday and enjoy, we pay to exercise and suffer the cold weather. but i really salute my grandmother because she is already 73 and she managed to complete climbing the mountain while useless people like me was complaining like shit. HAHA.

i can't wait for chinese new year to come. cos it marks the completion of three years, end of projects and tests, start of holidays and money will start rolling in already :)
have been tied down with many projects recently, which is driving many of us nuts. another month before all the deadlines come. i really can't wait for it to be over so that i can start hunting for a part-time job, apply for university(which i really hope i can get in), meet up with my girlfriends, spend more time with my family and many many more! :)

i feel that i'm really growing older already. my facial complexion and stuff. i don't know why, but i'm acting more like my mother recently. that's what my sister said. damn saddening. this year i will hit the big two and next year will be my twenty first. boohoo.

and people, learn to treasure and learn the importance of the people around you, especially your family and friends. don't get angry and argue over the slightest reason, and learn how to forgive and forget. the future is unforeseeable. you'll never know what will happen next and by the time, it'll be then too late for you to regret.

okay, i guess i've to end to post abruptly because i still got my stupid com skills presentation tomorrow! bye!

2010-01-01T22:27:00.000+08:00

i promise i will blog soon! =)

2009-12-18T22:13:00.002+08:00

Common tests are finally over!

I'll be away from Singapore till the 27th. China AGAIN.
8 days feels like a year. It's exaggerating, but yeah it's true.
I'm starting to miss all my friends ):
I'm going to miss lots of gatherings ):
Can i not go?

And i going to miss training again. for another two weeks!
i don't know when i will start to train again. my fats are starting to accumulate already. oh gosh.

Anyways, i'm rushing for time already! leaving soon!
Miss me people! Bye!

2009-12-13T17:37:00.005+08:00

Past two papers killed me. Not enough time to complete one of it and i forgot alot of what i had memorised. First two papers already like that. I can't picture what the next will be like. I must sleep late again. Tons of things to squeeze into this brain of mine ):

2009-12-11T00:11:00.003+08:00

birthday's celebration is over and it's time to give thanks!

Thanks to all for your wishes over phone, messages and facebook! :)

To Family:
Thank you for surprising me with the birthday cake! :) My family are damn good actors and actresses can!
Thank you daddy and money for the $$$! :)

To Ben and Cherie:
Thank you for the camera! :)
Now Ben, it's you turn to tell me what you want!
and Cherie, hope to see you really soon!

To Ah yang:
You forever bluff me, i don't want friend you already. Haha, i'm just kidding. Thank you for coming up to my doorstep to surprise me with a nicely wrapped present! Thank you for camera, the t-shirt & socks and the card! :)

To Melissa:
Thank you for the calender with all the photos and handwritten messages inside which made me flip it over and over again! :)

To my lovely girls:
It was tweetybird at the start, then cute cute patrick now. Thank you girls! Now i've another soft toy added into my collection. Great :)

THANK YOU! :)

2009-12-09T23:40:00.004+08:00

in another twenty minutes,
i'll have to welcome the number nineteen into my life already.

and i must welcome it with a BIG BIG SMILE :D

2009-12-06T23:01:00.002+08:00

i just started on my JED user interface like minutes ago and i've to hand in tomorrow!
okay, i know i'm damn last minute but i've got no choice since my laptop is damn beside me, and i've got a damn blur teacher which made a blur student like me extra blur! so terrible!

i don't really get to enjoy my next two weeks till holidays come!
i've got three lab tests the coming week, project submissions and then four common tests paper to prepare for. so busy that i don't even have free time to spare! especially when i still have to work ):

2009-12-04T22:24:00.000+08:00

People always say, “There's no place better than home.”
And i felt that i've to give it a second thought.

2009-11-30T13:48:00.001+08:00

Thinking of what to get for my birthday? =)

i want that glossy adidas backpack i saw at heeren.
i want a new jacket.
i need alot alot of t-shirts to fill up my pathetic wardrobe.
i want or in fact i NEED alot of things that can be used in my everyday lives.
and ya, not forgetting JAY's discs collection =)

But if you people find it hard to find something suitable for me, just get me chocolates or any sweet sweet stuff. that'll be more that enough =)

POL-ITE 2009

2009-11-29T19:16:00.011+08:00

Together, we did it =)

I'll definitely not forget yesterday- 28th November 2009.

Of all races, I felt the best yesterday. Not only for myself, but for the entire team.
The feeling our getting back the Overall Women's Champ which we had lost the previous year was indescribable, especiallly when it was our last POL-ITE. That was the point of time that i felt that the last few weeks of really intensive trainings were worth it. I'm really glad it ended up with no regrets.
It was the strength of unity that kept us moving on, wanting it so badly. Without it, we wouldn't have done it.

Rainie, i know that it's a little disappointing that our K2 didn't get it through the finals, but i knew that we did our best and there weren't any regrets. You did great for your K1 too! I would like to thank you for all your encouragements, motivations and assurance during races/trainings. Thanks for boosting up my confidence and having faith in me! Thanks for being so forgiving despite me always flaring up at you during trainings! You're the best partner that i can ever ask for! This shall be the last time i'm reminding you, there shall be no more sorries okay! =)

K4 crew, there is nothing more that i can ask for! Though it was really a short partnership, i really treasured and enjoyed the times that we got to paddle together. It was really great paddling with you people! =)

The entire team, thanks for cheering us on from shore when we're racing and juniors, thanks for helping out in the carrying of the boats yesterday! =)

Not forgetting the seniors, thanks for coming down to support us yesterday! =)

And thank you coach, for your guidance all these while! =)

Finally, it's a load off my chest.
For now, it's a break from paddling till saturday. Looking forward to the team dinner on wednesday.
And after all these, it shall be training for next year's K2 senior women marathon with rainie! =)

2009-11-27T20:09:00.003+08:00

i don't dare to make any promises but i'll just give in my very best tomorrow.
for my partners, i'll endure and finish my races strong.
and no matter what happens, we'll still be there for each other.
let's jia you!! =)

2009-11-20T00:41:00.004+08:00

i know that you've heard this for countless time, but just let me say it for the very last time.
Sorry for being ignorant for not knowing that you can't swim.
Sorry for not being able to understand or believe in you.
Sorry for always blaming and shouting at you when our boat doesn't do well for the sets.
Sorry for going overboard this time round.
Sorry that i have to say sorry over and over again.

i promise that there will be no more similar situations like that again. give me another chance and let's start it all over again. i want to do well with you for the coming IVP. and not forgetting that we agreed to completing the senior k2 marathon next year. i believe that you should know that i don't mean it when i say "i don't want to partner you anymore". it wasn't easy to find such a good partner like you. where can i find another person with similars thoughts and common goals? we have gone through so many races together, can we do it together again? yes, i believe that we can. i need you to be my driver, i need you there to motivate me.

i just want to let you know that i treasure you alot as a partner.
best best partner, please give me another chance will you?

2009-11-09T10:25:00.002+08:00

trainings were pretty good over the weekends! now, i know we've to communicate so that we'll be able to improve. sorry partner, for always shouting and getting angry at you. i promise i'll stop all my nonsense!
and ah yang, it was really nice K2-ing with you on sunday! i cook for you the dead fish that is tagging behind our boat okay? HAHA!

it's down to two more saturdays before IVP arrives. the worst thing is that i don't feel it coming at all. it seems so far away, like two to three more months or something. but, i still hope that i'll be able to do well with partner during race day. no matter what, i'll try my very best to let the boat move faster and faster.

alot of people around me have been pms-ing recently. getting from bad to worse. no idea why :/ i think it's the influence among ourselves.

having this DAM lecture now and nobody is listening at all. everyone is glued to their own computer screen. i can't wait to complete the quiz fast and leave this boring lab earlier. boohoo.

now, I'M SUPER DUPER HUNGRY!

2009-11-06T21:57:00.002+08:00

i'm suppose to be happy.
why am i feeling so miserable?

2009-11-04T12:56:00.005+08:00

if you were to know that your parents are going through some financial difficulties, try to understand them and try to save instead of continuously getting from them money and squandering it away. Always put yourself in their shoes and learn to stop being such a burden to them. Even before you learn how to work, you start learning how to spend. how are you going to survive in the future? i believe you know who you are, reflect upon yourself.

2009-11-03T19:27:00.002+08:00

I don't know what is going on with me recently. i'll flare up even at the slightest thing. probably it's because of those same old nonsense. to those that i've shouted at or offended, i'm really sorry.

caught Jennifer's Body on saturday and My Sister's Keeper on sunday. i still think i damn lousy or loser or whatever. the moment the dark dark part plus alot of sound effects come, i'll just cover my eyes. NC16 show and i act like that. i don't know where to hide my face already.

school was such a bore this two days. i saw my homework list and realised the one that is going to take up the most of my time is actually communication skills. due by coming friday and i haven't done any of it yet. i know i no need sleep on thursday night already.

oh my god. 8am lessons tomorrow and i'm going to be so dead. my damn habit is coming back again and it caused me to be late for lessons these few days. gosh.

2009-10-30T20:07:00.003+08:00

have been quite busy recently and didn't really have the time to blog.

didn't went for any trainings this week since monday was mommy's birthday and wednesday was that retarded NE seminar which was a total waste of my time. instead, self-trained with sherlyna on thursday and we saw nathan, so we ended up running and gyming together.

mommy's birthday celebration was quite a simple one. just a simple meal and we surprised her with a mini cake before midnight came. she's currently taking up a temporary part-time job now cos i think she's just very bored at home. asked her not to work, she still want to work. cos if she work, we won't have homecooked food for the whole of two months! how terrible is that! now, the three of us know the importance of our mother. nevermind then, as long she is happy.

school was still all right. i felt that this specialisation isn't that bad after all. no exams leh! just got alot of projects to complete. certain modules are quite interesting. compared to last time, i've feel that i've a better understanding of programming now. but i really really can't take that DAM module. it's really damn boring and i don't even understand what the teacher is saying! so i ended up facebooking for most of the time during her lesson.

caught Michael Jackson This Is It movie with my sister just now. it's all about the rehersal/preparations for his concert before his death. with all the music and stuff, i think it's not bad.

quite sick of some stuff recently. the more i talk about it and think about, i feel tired. cos it's a total waste of my time. but it's like the moment i want to stop talking and thinking about it, then got new topics for me to talk again. i can publish a storybook already. total waste of my energy and time. but what to do?

okay, enough of these rubbish
next to come, i'm looking forward to:
-the meetup with aisyah next friday.
-ah yang's recovery from cough. so that i can go eat nice food with her and ben.
-hotpot culture with the girls on my birthday. (yes i know, still damn long! but this time no common test! so it's double happiness!)
-the china trip with my family the night when my common test ends. so i can buy alot alot of pocky from there.
-more, more and even more outings with all of my friends!

that's all i've to say for now. will blog soon IF I'VE GOT THE TIME!
bye bye!

2009-10-25T00:10:00.005+08:00

Have you ever have a same gender friend, whom when you ask him/her out, they complain no money, yet they can keep go out with opposite gender ALOT of times. Yet in the past they dare to mention the phrase "zhong se qing you", and have they discovered what they are doing now?

Feel like knowing more things? Let me break it down for you.

Do you know how irritating/disgusted it is, when

- you thought you were close with somebody, but actually you're not?

- people thought you all are close friends, but when people see that you all don't interact with each other, people thought you're the bad guy, you are outcasting them, or you all got a fight or something? And the fact is, there isn't any fight or quarrel or wat at all.

- you tried to befriend with that someone again, hope things will be like how it used to be, but unfortunately it couldn't because that person is not willing to befriend you back again because maybe he/she thought you are distant from them, you are untrustable, and maybe very evil? When they don't even reflect on themselves?

- they seems to be like don't want to lose the friendship, but they are expecting the opposite party to take the initiative to 'repair' this friendship. Somehow, even an OUTSIDER is pitying us, trying to help us all to repair the friendship, yet the best part is, they are not doing anything? Like you owe them or something?

- although the you did initiate, but they are still giving cold shoulder?

- you thought this person is like that, but in the end it wasn't. It's bad to you, but it may be good for the others?

把热脸贴他的冷屁股。<- Have been feeling liddat for this week. This kinda feeling just sucks. It makes you look/feel like an asshole.

It's not only me, a few of us are feeling this way. We're sick and tired. Tried to improve the situation but to no avail. whatever isit, we're just not going to bother anymore.

okay, i guess It's time to stop all these rubbish already.
training tomorrow, i got to sleep(:

2009-10-21T22:32:00.003+08:00

hurray! school starts at 12 tomorrow!

in the end, i didn't appeal or anything. i guess it's time i learn to be independent at times instead of relying on others yeah? i should try to take things positively. at least i will still get to see the rest of my friends once a day! like that, i will treasure them even more(: and since we're in the same specialisation, we can always help each other with studies and projects! i'm not worried anymore, i shan't complain anymore. i promise!

thank god that my cousin help took over my work today. buay tahan. i'm so tired that if somebody give me any empty place, i can just sleep anytime, anywhere. this few days, the moment i lie down on bed, i can just immediately sleep. now, it's not that i don't want to sleep. i'm forcing myself to stay awake till the food in cafe world is ready in a few minutes time!

2009-10-19T23:30:00.002+08:00

don't ask me about school today.

it totally sucks. i might be appealing soon.

2009-10-17T23:51:00.004+08:00

after tomorrow, school reopens.

so sickening. two months holiday seemed like a few weeks.

and when school reopens, i've lesser time to go out since i've to cope with trainings, studies and work.

really really tired, that i can go on sleeping forever. slept a total of thirteen hours before i woke up for training today, with only an half hour break used to play cafe world. and when i reached home after training today, i had another three hours plus of nap and then woke up for steamboat. life like that is damn shiok. to me, sleeping is everything. when school reopens, i think i will die. it's either i oversleep or sleep alot during lessons.

and my calf is still damn pain!):

2009-10-14T19:19:00.005+08:00

"Everyone experiences tough times; it is a measure of your determination and dedication how you deal with them and how you can come through them."

2009-10-13T23:15:00.002+08:00

all the time, it was active and it was damn fat . but one afternoon, we came to realise that it wasn't its usual self. it wasn't moving. it was lying there, with a really fast heartbeat and it wasn't able to open it's own eyes. it became damn small size, damn skinny. search the internet and thought the cause was dehydration so fed it with lots and lots of water. that night, we really thought that it was able to survive. the next morning, my mommy still see it moving and gave it water but the next moment, it was no longer breathing. regretted that i can't hear my alarm and wake up in the middle of the night to feed it. couldn't bear to throw it down the chute, thus buried it beside a tree near my house. it's no longer here and i kind of miss it. goodbye, my dearest hamster. ):

2009-10-10T14:18:00.003+08:00

arghs. house's internet is so screwed. i don't know why my stuff aren't loading. i can't facebook, one piece and read my mails but i can blog-.- omg, this sucks.

headed over to town with cousin yesterday for movie and sushi. caught Fame and i would say i still prefer High School Musical. ya, and please remember that you owe me one for making me walk to and fro!

going out with family later. no idea where is daddy going to bring us to eat but i know that it's confirm good food!(:

2009-10-06T14:27:00.003+08:00

"AHCHOOOOOOO! AHCHOOOOO!...." and this goes on forever and ever. have been sneezing non-stop since sunday and i can't sleep properly last night because my nose was like a running tap. and i used the tissue like no need money like that. whole body is aching and my the pain in my head is killing me. my body is really weak this year. for the past few years, i only fall sick like once a year but now what? it's the FOURTH time already. damn.

and why i always so suay one, get those things i don't like ):

2009-10-02T19:25:00.002+08:00

my spoilt lappy was the reason why i didn't get to blog regularly.

thursday was mel's birthday and we girls met up. it was my first clubbing experience. surprisingly, i'm able to take in the loud music. i guess it wasn't that bad after all(:

slept really little and met gary on friday afternoon. i felt like a walking zombie. i felt even worse during work. i can't even do things properly. and the moment i reached home, i want to sleep but then i started to feel energetic again. and i think the amount of sleep loss has caused me to start falling sick already. sigh.

i can't wait for the school timetable to come out!

2009-09-30T19:41:00.000+08:00

i felt earthquake just now!

2009-09-24T14:25:00.002+08:00

oversleeping habit has gotten from really bad to worse. it's not only by minutes or an hour, it's a few hours. although the amount of alarms, wake up calls and messages are increasing, they are still unable to wake me up. it's not that i don't want to wake up. i tried sleeping early to wake up but still cannot. i can't even hear my phone ringing. mommy tried to wake me up, but i don't even have a single reaction towards it. sigh, what am i suppose to do?!

2009-09-24T00:01:00.004+08:00

i no longer feel like seeing those people's faces anymore. i don't know if things are better than before but everytime i see them, i'll get reminded of their actions and feel so disgusted. so sick and tired of bitching about them. it's a neverending story.

last time i used to thought that it was the more the merrier, but after a period of time, things i've seen and experienced somehow started to change my thinking. for now, to me i think that more people equals to more problems. perhaps, it's because every individual has a different attitude. like most people always say- "it's the quality that counts, not the quantity". i think i can apply this to my current situation now. i no need such a big group of friends to be happy. all i need is a small group of people whom i feel very comfortable and happy with.

okay i shall stop all my nonsense. all i want to say is that i'm leading a very happy life right now. i feel much comfortable in a smaller group, it's easier to bitch around and stuff. at least we will tell each other stuff instead of keeping it to ourself, cause we know that we'll be there to help each other no matter what happens. i'm really glad that meetups were even frequent than before, and it's easier to plan things without worries.

okay, this shall be the end of my post. bye!

2009-09-17T13:14:00.000+08:00

i know this sounds stupid, but i'm doing mental preparation for the visit to the dentist tomorrow.
OMG, the thought of the injection and extraction of my tooth, i want to die. i rather die actually.
i hope i hear good news from the dentist!
):

2009-09-16T14:14:00.000+08:00

give me time to reflect.

2009-09-10T22:42:00.001+08:00

it's damn hot!

i see my face condition, i really buay tahan, so i decided to use my strawberry yogurt mask(: it's all over my face now and it smells so nice that i feel like eating my face lah!

2009-09-08T23:17:00.003+08:00

hello people, it's my last day in genting and i'll be heading for singapore tomorrow!
one day of theme park is fun, but it's enough to kill me. the rides are causing me to have a terrible body ache now. really old already~

anyways, thanks to gary, i've been attracted to "One Piece". it's damn nice and sometimes i really find it quite motivational. there's a hell lot more episodes for me to complete so i can take my own sweet time to watch =p i'm trying to watch the next episode here but the internet is really really slow!

disappointed.

2009-09-05T22:53:00.000+08:00

where are the feelings that i used to have?

2009-09-04T02:40:00.000+08:00

genting this sunday and china in december.
don't ask me why china. this time, it's for the sceneries. and i love to hear all those historical stuff. i'm definitely going to bring alot of pocky back this time(:

what's wrong with the weather nowadays?
pimple outbreak once again. whenever i look into the mirror, i feel damn old. i can't stand my face. it's either too dry or oily. arghs.

plans for today will be G-Force with sister and then work at night.
sister has been falling sick really easily nowadays. YOU REALLY NEED TO TAKE CARE OKAY!(:

i guess i won't be blogging till i return next wednesday!
miss me okay!
ciaos~

2009-08-31T22:22:00.001+08:00

i hate life.
sometimes, i'm wondering why i'm born like that.
blame myself for having one stupid pair of sensitive ears, which drives me crazy all the time.
i thought my closest ones were able to understand me, but it's totally wrong. if they can't even understand me, how can i even expect the others to understand? in the end, i still get the blame. it's like.. they know it, yet i'm still being scolded. it's not as if i'm doing it on purpose. why isit always my fault? whenever i get scolded, i can't argue and i've to hold back my tears.

i really can't wait to disappear from this world. at least i will have some peace. i can't stand it any longer.

2009-08-28T20:21:00.003+08:00

planned to go for a run when i wake up early in the morning.

didn't do so in the end since i woke up late and i'm meeting my sister in the afternoon for "The Proposal". i think it's quite a nice show.

i think i should head for the gym now.

ciaos~

2009-08-28T00:24:00.003+08:00

oh! blogger is back to normal again.

it's past midnight and i'm still staring at the computer. watching the telly at the same time. the programme on channel 173 is so retarded. i can't stop laughing and making fun of them. all the korean songs are the weirdest i ever heard in my entire life. okay, at least there is one proper song now. why i don't have japanese channel!

last day of fyp. my only photo taken. LOL.

2009-08-27T23:20:00.000+08:00

what the hell. blogger is giving me a hell lot of problems.

trained in the morning, met gary at town. lunched, bitched around, UP-ed and walked around. and in the end, we went home empty-handed again. like what gary said, it's actually quite saddening to open up your wardrobe and realise that you've nothing else to wear, and then you have to put on your old clothes again. it's seriously damn sian.

i've to start decreasing my intake of food from now onwards.
i guess i shall go for a run when i wake up tomorrow.

for now, i've got nothing to do besides facebooking. i'm sick and tired of it already.
it's the seventh month and i don't dare to go out till late also. even if i go out, i've to trouble my mommy to go downstairs and fetch me again.
tell me, what should i do tomorrow?

2009-08-25T14:11:00.000+08:00

FYP is over, it's finally the holidays!

missed a month of trainings due to FYP and finally went back yesterday. weights dropped, running dropped even more. will start water training tomorrow, and it's time to correct my strokes. time will fly by quickly, and soon, IVP will come.

seriously, i really hate working. for the past six months, everytime after attachment/FYP, i will be rushing to work for alternate nights. friends go out, i must work. due to work, FYP has been a torture for me. even during the holidays, i've to even head to work after trainings. though it's only that three hours and there's nothing much to do but it's really tiring. i really don't feel like working anymore. and ya, i will get blamed again for not wanting to work. whatever isit, it's still my fault in the end.

2009-08-16T21:40:00.000+08:00

daddy and mommy headed for genting early this morning and left the three monsters at home.
talking to mommy online now and she's eating good food there ): DURIAN BUFFET. oh my tian, i also want!

2009-08-13T22:47:00.000+08:00

came back home, immediately changed and went for a run.
haven't run for ages and as usual, it's a killer!
omg, how am i going to survive when i go back?

2009-08-13T00:15:00.003+08:00

i thank god that the five days presentation is being shorten to three days(: now i've lesser things to worry and shall have more time to touch up on my stuff.

i've been counting down ever since last week? i know i've been repeating this over and over again but i really can't stop. now i'm left with another SIX weekdays and i can't wait! my holiday-to-do-list is all ready and i know it's waiting for me to activate it!!